Teenage Challenges
Does Your Teenager Push the Limits?
In my eBook ‘Battling, Bending or Blending with Teenagers’ I suggest parents avoid getting into an argument or debate with their teen and model self control. Today we’ll look at how to handle your teen’s request to bend the rules.
Although limits and consistency are keys to raising secure and confident children, you don’t need to be completely rigid with the rules all the time. Say for example your teen wants an extension on their curfew for a special event. You have three options:
- Say “Yes” immediately (may nullify the purpose of the rules)
- Say “No” immediately (can cause resentment or rebellion)
- Say “Tell me more” (exploring opens up discussion to build trust and respect)
Your teen is on the road to independence so these opportunities can be used to encourage them think responsibly. You might explore this example further with questions such as: what will you be doing during this time, who will be with you, how can you assure me this is a safe environment? You could decide to ok this exception under specific conditions e.g. you pick them up. If your answer has to be no, aim to understand your teen’s perspective; it helps gain their trust. Approach issues in a fair manner and be sure to back up your answer with a valid reason for your decision.
Your teen’s experiences during this time in their life will impact on how well adjusted they become as adults.
IS YOUR TEENAGER OUT OF CONTROL?
For more essential information on how to handle the challenging teen years in a stepfamily, please Click Here
Kind regards
Adele Cornish
Blended Family Coach, Author and Presenter