Resentment

Today we’re looking at the topic of resentment

It’s not uncommon for stepparents to experience feelings of resentment towards their stepchildren for the time and energy they require.

It’s normal to experience feelings of resentment from time to time and they need not cause a rift in relationships if you address the issues and move forward.  Real problems start however when you hold on to feelings of resentment.  Resentment is like a weed mat that smothers the growth beneath; its heavy presence causes love to be suffocated so don’t let it lie around too long.

Specifically identify the cause of your resentment

If you’re hanging on to resentment it’s time to remove the weed mat.  Identify what has causes you to feel resentful.  I recall one stepmother (let’s call her Jo) who strongly resented her stepdaughter, not because of anything the girl had done but because her husband treated his daughter like royalty. Jo felt her needs always came second. The root of the problem was not the daughter’s behaviour, but rather the way Jo’s husband responded to his daughter.

Take time to make each other feel loved and special

A note to biological parents: Nurturing your couple relationship can reduce a stepparent’s  feelings of resentment towards your children.  Ask your partner what you can do for them to make them feel loved.

Have time alone with your biological children so they don’t feel the need to compete for your attention but also remember your role as a partner.  It’s not about choosing one over the other but balancing the needs of both.

On a simpler note, it could be that a stepparent resents having to continually meet the practical needs of his or her stepchildren. If this is the case, negotiate roles and responsibilities with your partner and ensure a stepparent has time out for themselves.  Remember also…

It’s not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.”  Ann Landers

Warm regards

Blended Family Advisor

p.s. Session Four, page 13 of the Blending Lives Program goes into more detail on how to reduce resentment and negotiate roles.  For more information on creating and sustaining a great relationships in a blended family, please read on…

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Warm regards

Blended Family Advisor

p.s. Remember you can feel completely confident about your purchase. I offer a Full Money back Guarantee. In the unlikely event you’re not 100% satisfied you will get a prompt, courteous refund. Just contact me any time within 60 days and I will rush you a full no hassles refund plus, you still get to keep the program!

p.p.s. There’s a saying that goes “A goal without a plan is a wish.” Stop wishing things would change and make it happen! The Blending Lives Program gives you a plan for success.

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“Adele your books, weekly e-mail tips and personal counseling have been God sends that seem to arrive just when I need them most. Your honest and objective advice and encouragement keep me going through the rough spots. Thanks Adele for the gifts you give others.” Doreen Dyet, Ottawa, Canada