The Freedom to be Honest

Honesty builds trust and intimacy in a relationship while dishonesty breeds anger, hurt and resentment.  If you want your relationship to thrive, strive towards being honest yourself and creating an environment where others have the freedom to behave likewise.

Are you completely honest with your partner?

Being honest doesn’t mean you need to be critical.  Telling your partner everything that is wrong with him or her (or their children for that matter) will create a rift; truth without empathy or kindness is a weapon, not a form of communication. In the context of this tip I am defining honesty as behaving without deceit.

No one can make you lie however sometimes you may find yourself in an environment where it doesn’t feel safe to be completely honest for fear of the consequence. If you’ve made a mistake and try to cover it up, dishonesty or deceit creeps further into your relationship.

Is your partner honest with you?

Do they act without consulting you when they know they should? Maybe they leave out certain essential details when confronted about a potential problem. Perhaps they do things for or with their children that they don’t tell you about. You can’t be responsible for their behavior but you can explore what they would like you to do or change to make them feel safe enough to be honest. It’s up to us to prove ourselves trustworthy and it’s up to our partner whether they choose to pursue a trusting relationship.

Keys to building honesty and trust:

1. Explore issues without attacking each other personally e.g. “You’re so selfish…”

2. Strive to understand your partner’s perspective.

3. Practice the principle of forgiveness. Forgiveness paves the way for reconciliation and trust to be rebuilt after your partner has let you down.  It is the choice to not dwell on the offence (note: it does not mean that you approve of the offence). Tell your partner what they can do to help you rebuild trust in them.

Creating a satisfying couple relationship is an ongoing process. If you value honesty and would like to enjoy the trust and intimacy it brings, STRIVE for it.

For an interactive way to build trust and honesty in your relationship, check out the Blending Lives Program It has questions for you and your partner to discuss that reach to the heart of everyday matters.

Have a great week!

Warm regards

Adele Cornish